Niddah Laws and Marital Intimacy

וְאֶל־אִשָּׁ֖ה בְּנִדַּ֣ת טֻמְאָתָ֑הּ לֹ֣א תִקְרַ֔ב לְגַלּ֖וֹת עֶרְוָתָֽהּ׃

Do not come near a woman during her menstrual period of impurity to uncover her nakedness.

וְאִשָּׁה֙ כִּֽי־תִהְיֶ֣ה זָבָ֔ה דָּ֛ם יִהְיֶ֥ה זֹבָ֖הּ בִּבְשָׂרָ֑הּ שִׁבְעַ֤ת יָמִים֙ תִּהְיֶ֣ה בְנִדָּתָ֔הּ וְכׇל־הַנֹּגֵ֥עַ בָּ֖הּ יִטְמָ֥א עַד־הָעָֽרֶב׃ וְאִ֡ם שָׁכֹב֩ יִשְׁכַּ֨ב אִ֜ישׁ אֹתָ֗הּ וּתְהִ֤י נִדָּתָהּ֙ עָלָ֔יו וְטָמֵ֖א שִׁבְעַ֣ת יָמִ֑ים וְכׇל־הַמִּשְׁכָּ֛ב אֲשֶׁר־יִשְׁכַּ֥ב עָלָ֖יו יִטְמָֽא׃ {ס}

When a woman has a discharge, her discharge being blood from her body, she shall remain in her menstrual separation seven days; whoever touches her shall be impure until evening. And if a man lies with her, her menstrual separation applies to him; he shall be impure seven days, and any bedding on which he lies shall become impure.

מִפְּנֵי מָה אָמְרָה תּוֹרָה נִדָּה לְשִׁבְעָה? מִפְּנֵי שֶׁרָגִיל בָּהּ וְקָץ בָּהּ. אָמְרָה תּוֹרָה: ״תְּהֵא טְמֵאָה שִׁבְעָה יָמִים״, כְּדֵי שֶׁתְּהֵא חֲבִיבָה עַל בַּעְלָהּ כִּשְׁעַת כְּנִיסָתָהּ לַחוּפָּה.

Since the first woman was created from the body of the first man, the man seeks that which he has lost. And the students of Rabbi Dostai further asked him: For what reason does a man engage in intercourse facing down, and a woman engage in intercourse facing up toward the man? Rabbi Dostai answered them: This man faces the place from which he was created, i.e., the earth, and that woman faces the place from which she was created, namely man. And the students also inquired: For what reason is a man who is angry likely to accept appeasement, but a woman is not as likely to accept appeasement?

וְאָסוּר לְאָדָם שֶׁיִּדְבַּק בְּאִשְׁתּוֹ בְּשִׁבְעַת יָמִים נְקִיִּים אֵלּוּ וְאַף עַל פִּי שֶׁהִיא בִּכְסוּתָהּ וְהוּא בִּכְסוּתוֹ. וְלֹא יִקְרַב לָהּ וְלֹא יִגַּע בָּהּ אֲפִלּוּ בְּאֶצְבַּע קְטַנָּה. וְלֹא יֹאכַל עִמָּהּ בִּקְעָרָה אַחַת. כְּלָלוֹ שֶׁל דָּבָר יִנְהֹג עִמָּהּ בִּימֵי סְפִירָה כְּמוֹ שֶׁיִּנְהֹג בִּימֵי נִדָּה שֶׁעֲדַיִן הִיא בְּכָרֵת עַד שֶׁתִּטְבּל כְּמוֹ שֶׁבֵּאַרְנוּ:

It is forbidden to a person to embrace his wife during these seven "spotless" days. [This applies] even if she is clothed and he is clothed. He should not draw close to her, nor touch her, not even with his pinky. He may not eat together with her from the same plate. The general principle is he must conduct himself with her during the days she is counting as he does in her "days of niddah." For [relations with her] are still punishable by kereit until she immerses herself, as we explained.

"שְׁמַע בְּנִי מוּסַר אָבִיךָ, וְאַל תִּטֹּשׁ תּוֹרַת אִמֶּךָ" (משלי א ח).

"Listen, my son, to the thought of your father, and do not forsake the teaching of your mother." (Proverbs 1:8)

המונחים צלם ודמות משמעות שגויה של המונח צלם 1 צלם ודמות. אנשים חשבו ש"צלם" בעברית מורה על תבניתו ומתארו של דבר. דבר זה הביא להגשמה גמורה, בגלל הפסוק "נַעֲשֶׂה אָדָם בְּצַלְמֵנוּ כִּדְמוּתֵנוּ" (בראשית א,כו). הם חשבו שהאל הוא בצורת אדם, כלומר בתבניתו ובמתארו, והדבר הוביל אותם להגשמה גמורה. על כן הם האמינו בה, וסברו שאם ייטשו את האמונה הזו הם יכחישו את הכתוב, ואף ישללו את קיומו של האל אם אין לו גוף בעל פנים ויד הדומים לאלה שלהם בתבנית ובמתאר; אלא שהם מדמים שהוא גדול וזוהר יותר, וגם אינו עשוי מדם ומבשר.

“Open ye the gates, that the righteous nation which keepeth the truth may enter in.”—(Isa. 26:2.) Some have been of opinion that by the Hebrew ẓelem, the shape and figure of a thing is to be understood, and this explanation led men to believe in the corporeality [of the Divine Being]: for they thought that the words “Let us make man in our ẓelem” (Gen. 1:26), implied that God had the form of a human being, i.e., that He had figure and shape, and that, consequently, He was corporeal. They adhered faithfully to this view, and thought that if they were to relinquish it they would in so reject the truth of the Bible: and further, if they did not conceive God as having a body possessed of face and limbs, similar to their own in appearance, they would have to deny even the existence of God.

כְּדֵי שֶׁיִּהְיֶה נִשְׁמָר יוֹתֵר מִן הָרָעָה אֲשֶׁר בְּרַגְלֵיהֶם. כִּי הִנֵּה אֵין לְךָ תַּעֲנוּג עוֹלָמִי אֲשֶׁר לֹא יִמְשֹׁךְ אַחֲרָיו אֵיזֶה חֵטְא בַּעֲקֵבוֹ. דֶּרֶךְ מָשָׁל: הַמַּאֲכָל וְהַמִּשְׁתֶּה כְּשֶׁנִּקּוּ מִכָּל אִסּוּרֵי הָאֲכִילָה, הִנֵּה מֻתָּרִים הֵם. אָמְנָם, מִלּוּי הַכָּרֵס מוֹשֵׁךְ אַחֲרָיו פְּרִיקַת הָעוֹל, וּמִשְׁתֶּה הַיַּיִן מוֹשֵׁךְ אַחֲרָיו הַזְּנוּת וּשְׁאָר דְּבָרִים רָעִים. כָּל שֶׁכֵּן שֶׁבִּהְיוֹת הָאָדָם מַרְגִּיל עַצְמוֹ לִשְׂבֹּעַ מֵאֲכִילָה וּשְׁתִיָּה, הִנֵּה אִם פַּעַם אַחַת יֶחְסַר לוֹ רְגִילוּתוֹ, יִכְאַב לוֹ וְיַרְגִּישׁ מְאֹד. וּמִפְּנֵי זֶה נִמְצָא הוּא מַכְנִיס עַצְמוֹ בְּתֹקֶף עֲמַל הַסְּחוֹרָה וִיגִיעַת הַקִּנְיָן לְשֶׁתִּהְיֶה שֻׁלְחָנוֹ עֲרוּכָה כִּרְצוֹנוֹ וּמִשָּׁם נִמְשָׁךְ אֶל הָעָוֶל וְהַגָּזֵל, וּמִשָּׁם אֶל הַשְּׁבוּעוֹת וְכָל שְׁאָר הַחֲטָאִים הַבָּאִים אַחַר זֶה, וּמֵסִיר עַצְמוֹ מִן הָעֲבוֹדָה וּמִן הַתּוֹרָה וּמִן הַתְּפִלָּה.

Marital relations are completely permitted but the sages decreed immersion in a Mikveh for those who had seminal emissions in order that Torah scholars not be frequently with their wives like roosters. For even though the conjugal act itself is permitted nevertheless he imprints this lust within his nature, and from there he can be drawn to the forbidden as our sages said: "there is a small organ in man. If one satiates it, it becomes hungry. But if he starves it, it becomes satiated" (Sanhedrin 107a). Not only that but even at the fitting hour and proper time they said of Rabbi Eliezer: "he uncovers a handbreadth and conceals two, and acted as though he were compelled by a demon" (Nedarim 20b), in order to not derive pleasure then.