Halachaהלכה

Marital Intimacy in Jewish Law

Jewish legal sources discuss the permissibility and ethical boundaries of physical intimacy between spouses. The halakhic tradition permits various forms of marital relations while emphasizing dignity, consent, and restraint grounded in the concept of holiness.

כָּל מַה שֶּׁאָדָם רוֹצֶה לַעֲשׂוֹת בְּאִשְׁתּוֹ עוֹשֶׂה

8 sources · all verified

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What the sources say

The Gemara at Nedarim 20b establishes the foundational ruling that the law does not follow Rabbi Yochanan ben Dehavai — whose angelic tradition condemned kissing intimate areas — but instead that a man may do whatever he wishes with his wife.

Building directly on that Talmudic ruling, Mishneh Torah, Forbidden Intercourse 21:9 codifies explicitly that a man may 'kiss any organ he desires,' with the sole prohibition being the vain emission of seed.

The Rema's gloss in Shulchan Arukh, Even HaEzer 25:2 affirms the same broad permissibility — kissing any organ, intercourse in any manner — while noting a dissenting view that permits even seed emission in non-standard contact if done incidentally.

Nevertheless, Mishneh Torah, Forbidden Intercourse 21:9-10 and Arukh HaShulchan, Even HaEzer 25 both add that the pious standard is to sanctify oneself and not act frivolously in these matters, making clear that permissibility and ideal conduct are two distinct categories.

Source 1 · Chazal
Verified

Nedarim.20b

נדרים כ׳ ב

Nedarim.20b

The sages discuss the permissibility of intimate relations between a husband and wife, with one view restricting certain practices but the majority ruling that a man may do whatever he wishes with his wife, comparable to how one may prepare meat in any manner.

אֵין הֲלָכָה כְּיוֹחָנָן בֶּן דַּהֲבַאי, אֶלָּא כֹּל מַה שֶּׁאָדָם רוֹצֶה לַעֲשׂוֹת בְּאִשְׁתּוֹ — עוֹשֶׂה.

Source 2 · Chazal
Verified

Nedarim

נדרים כ׳ א — ד"ה אָמַר רַבִּי יוֹחָנָן בֶּן

Nedarim 20a:13

This passage discusses vows and their annulment, including cases where someone makes a vow with a qualifying condition or restriction and then claims they only meant to vow regarding something else, and debates whether such vows require formal nullification procedures and what penalties apply to those who make vows carelessly.

אָמַר רַבִּי יוֹחָנָן בֶּן דַּהֲבַאי, אַרְבָּעָה דְּבָרִים סָחוּ לִי מַלְאֲכֵי הַשָּׁרֵת: חִיגְּרִין מִפְּנֵי מָה הָוְיִין — מִפְּנֵי שֶׁהוֹפְכִים אֶת שׁוּלְחָנָם. אִילְּמִים מִפְּנֵי מָה הָוְיִין — מִפְּנֵי שֶׁמְּנַשְּׁקִים עַל אוֹתוֹ מָקוֹם. חֵרְשִׁים מִפְּנֵי מָה הָוְיִין — מִפְּנֵי שֶׁמְסַפְּרִים בִּשְׁעַת תַּשְׁמִישׁ. סוֹמִין מִפְּנֵי מָה הָוְיִין — מִפְּנֵי שֶׁמִּסְתַּכְּלִים בְּאוֹתוֹ מָקוֹם.

§ Rabbi Yoḥanan ben Dehavai said: The ministering angels told me four matters: For what reason do lame people come into existence? It is because their fathers overturn their tables, i.e., they engage in sexual intercourse in an atypical way. For what reason do mute people come into existence? It is because their fathers kiss that place of nakedness. For what reason do deaf people come into existence? It is because their parents converse while engaging in sexual intercourse. For what reason do blind people come into existence? It is because their fathers stare at that place.

Source 3 · Rishonim
Verified

Mishneh Torah, Forbidden Intercourse 21:9

משנה תורה, הלכות איסורי ביאה כ״א:ט׳

Mishneh Torah, Forbidden Intercourse 21:9

A man may engage in any form of physical intimacy with his wife, including kissing any part of her body and various types of intercourse, provided he does not waste seed.

לְפִיכָךְ כָּל מַה שֶּׁאָדָם רוֹצֶה לַעֲשׂוֹת בְּאִשְׁתּוֹ עוֹשֶׂה. בּוֹעֵל בְּכָל עֵת שֶׁיִּרְצֶה וּמְנַשֵּׁק בְּכָל אֵיבָר וְאֵיבָר שֶׁיִּרְצֶה.

Therefore a man may do whatever he desires with his wife. He may engage in relations whenever he desires, kiss any organ he desires, engage in vaginal or anal intercourse or engage in physical intimacy without relations, provided he does not release seed in vain.

Source 4 · Rishonim
Verified

Mishneh Torah, Human Dispositions 5:4

משנה תורה, הלכות דעות ה׳:ד׳

Mishneh Torah, Human Dispositions 5:4

A man should not debase himself or his wife by degrading speech even in private, but rather should speak and laugh gently with her to calm her spirit before relations, conduct himself with modesty rather than brazenness, and separate immediately afterward.

וְלֹא יָקֵל בְּרֹאשׁוֹ בְּיוֹתֵר וְלֹא יְנַבֵּל אֶת פִּיו בְּדִבְרֵי הֲבַאי וַאֲפִלּוּ בֵּינוֹ לְבֵינָהּ. יְסַפֵּר וְיִשְׂחַק מְעַט עִמָּהּ כְּדֵי שֶׁתִּתְיַשֵּׁב נַפְשָׁהּ וְיִבְעל בְּבוּשָׁה וְלֹא בְּעַזּוּת וְיִפְרשׁ מִיָּד:

Source 5 · Rishonim
Verified

Ramban on Leviticus 19:2

רמב"ן על ויקרא י״ט:ב׳

Ramban on Leviticus 19:2

Ramban's famous comments on holiness emphasize that the Torah permits the legitimate but calls for restraint and sanctity in sexual matters. This is often used as a conceptual basis for marital-intimacy questions.

קְדוֹשִׁים תִּהְיוּ הֱווּ פְּרוּשִׁים מִן הָעֲרָיוֹת וּמִן הָעֲבֵרָה, שֶׁכָּל מָקוֹם שֶׁאַתָּה מוֹצֵא גֶּדֶר עֶרְוָה אַתָּה מוֹצֵא קְדֻשָּׁה, לְשׁוֹן רַשִׁ"י (רש"י על ויקרא י"ט:ב'). אֲבָל בְּתוֹרַת כֹּהֲנִים (פרשה א ב) רָאִיתִי סְתָם, פְּרוּשִׁים תִּהְיוּ. וְכֵן שָׁנוּ שָׁם (שמיני פרק יב ג), "וְהִתְקַדִּשְׁתֶּם וִהְיִיתֶם קְדֹשִׁים כִּי קָדוֹשׁ אָנִי", כְּשֵׁם שֶׁאֲנִי קָדוֹשׁ כָּךְ אַתֶּם תִּהְיוּ קְדוֹשִׁים, כְּשֵׁם שֶׁאֲנִי פָּרוּשׁ כָּךְ אַתֶּם תִּהְיוּ פְּרוּשִׁים. וּלְפִי דַּעְתִּי אֵין הַפְּרִישׁוּת הַזּוֹ לִפְרֹשׁ מִן הָעֲרָיוֹת כְּדִבְרֵי הָרַב, אֲבָל הַפְּרִישׁוּת הִיא הַמֻּזְכֶּרֶת בְּכָל מָקוֹם בַּתַּלְמוּד שֶׁבְּעָלֶיהָ נִקְרָאִים "פְּרוּשִׁים". וְהָעִנְיָן כִּי הַתּוֹרָה הִזְהִירָה בָּעֲרָיוֹת וּבַמַּאֲכָלִים הָאֲסוּרִים, וְהִתִּירָה הַבִּיאָה אִישׁ בְּאִשְׁתּוֹ וַאֲכִילַת הַבָּשָׂר וְהַיַּיִן. א"כ יִמְצָא בַּעַל הַתַּאֲוָה מָקוֹם לִהְיוֹת שָׁטוּף בְּזִמַּת אִשְׁתּוֹ אוֹ נָשָׁיו הָרַבּוֹת, וְלִהְיוֹת בְּסֹבְאֵי יָיִן בְּזֹלֲלֵי בָשָׂר לָמוֹ, וִידַבֵּר כִּרְצוֹנוֹ בְּכָל הַנְּבָלוֹת, שֶׁלֹּא הֻזְכַּר אִסּוּר זֶה בַּתּוֹרָה, וְהִנֵּה יִהְיֶה נָבָל בִּרְשׁוּת הַתּוֹרָה. לְפִיכָךְ בָּא הַכָּתוּב אַחֲרֵי שֶׁפֵּרֵט הָאִסּוּרִים שֶׁאָסַר אוֹתָם לְגַמְרֵי, וְצִוָּה בְּדָבָר כְּלָלִי - שֶׁנִּהְיֶה פְּרוּשִׁים מִן הַמֻּתָּרוֹת: יְמַעֵט בַּמִּשְׁגָּל, כְּעִנְיָן שֶׁאָמְרוּ (ברכות כב) שֶׁלֹּא יִהְיוּ תַּלְמִידֵי חֲכָמִים מְצוּיִין אֵצֶל נְשׁוֹתֵיהֶן כַּתַּרְנְגֹלִין, וְלֹא יְשַׁמֵּשׁ אֶלָּא כְּפִי הַצָּרִיךְ בְּקִיּוּם הַמִּצְוָה מִמֶּנּוּ; וִיקַדֵּשׁ עַצְמוֹ מִן הַיַּיִן בְּמִעוּטוֹ, כְּמוֹ שֶׁקָּרָא הַכָּתוּב (במדבר ו ה) הַנָּזִיר - "קָדוֹשׁ", וְיִזְכֹּר הָרָעוֹת הַנִּזְכָּרוֹת מִמֶּנּוּ בַּתּוֹרָה (בראשית ט כא) בְּנֹחַ וּבְלוֹט; וְכֵן יַפְרִישׁ עַצְמוֹ מִן הַטֻּמְאָה, אע"פ שֶׁלֹּא הֻזְהַרְנוּ מִמֶּנָּה בַּתּוֹרָה, כְּמוֹ שֶׁהִזְכִּירוּ (חגיגה יח), בִּגְדֵי עַם הָאָרֶץ מִדְרָס לַפְּרוּשִׁים, וּכְמוֹ שֶׁנִּקְרָא הַנָּזִיר "קָדוֹשׁ" (במדבר ו ח) בְּשָׁמְרוֹ מִטֻּמְאַת הַמֵּת גַּם כֵּן; וְגַם יִשְׁמֹר פִּיו וּלְשׁוֹנוֹ מֵהִתְגָּאֵל בְּרִבּוּי הָאֲכִילָה הַגַּסָּה וּמִן הַדִּבּוּר הַנִּמְאָס, כְּעִנְיָן שֶׁהִזְכִּיר הַכָּתוּב (ישעיהו ט טז) "וְכָל פֶּה דֹּבֵר נְבָלָה", וִיקַדֵּשׁ עַצְמוֹ בָּזֶה עַד שֶׁיַּגִּיעַ לַפְּרִישׁוּת, כְּמָה שֶׁאָמְרוּ עַל רַבִּי חִיָּא שֶׁלֹּא שָׂח שִׂיחָה בְּטֵלָה מִיָּמָיו. בְּאֵלּוּ וּבְכַיּוֹצֵא בָּהֶן בָּאָה הַמִּצְוָה הַזֹּאת הַכְּלָלִית, אַחֲרֵי שֶׁפֵּרֵט כָּל הָעֲבֵרוֹת שֶׁהֵן אֲסוּרוֹת לְגַמְרֵי, עַד שֶׁיִּכָּנֵס בִּכְלַל זֹאת הַצַּוָּאָה הַנְּקִיּוּת בְּיָדָיו וְגוּפוֹ, כְּמוֹ שֶׁאָמְרוּ (ברכות נג) "וְהִתְקַדִּשְׁתֶּם" אֵלּוּ מַיִם רִאשׁוֹנִים, "וִהְיִיתֶם קְדֹשִׁים" אֵלּוּ מַיִם אַחֲרוֹנִים, "כִּי קָדוֹשׁ" זֶה שֶׁמֶן עָרֵב. כִּי אע"פ שֶׁאֵלּוּ מִצְוֹת מִדִּבְרֵיהֶם, עִקַּר הַכָּתוּב בְּכַיּוֹצֵא בָּזֶה יַזְהִיר שֶׁנִּהְיֶה נְקִיִּים וּטְהוֹרִים וּפְרוּשִׁים מֵהֲמוֹן בְּנֵי אָדָם, שֶׁהֵם מְלַכְלְכִים עַצְמָם בַּמֻּתָּרוֹת וּבַכִּעוּרִים. וְזֶה דֶּרֶךְ הַתּוֹרָה לִפְרֹט וְלִכְלֹל בְּכַיּוֹצֵא בָּזֶה, כִּי אַחֲרֵי אַזְהָרַת פְּרָטֵי הַדִּינִין בְּכָל מַשָּׂא וּמַתָּן שֶׁבֵּין בְּנֵי אָדָם, לֹא תִּגְנֹב וְלֹא תִּגְזֹל וְלֹא תּוֹנוּ וּשְׁאָר הָאַזְהָרוֹת, אָמַר בִּכְלָל "וְעָשִׂיתָ הַיָּשָׁר וְהַטּוֹב" (דברים ו יח), שֶׁיַּכְנִיס בַּעֲשֵׂה הַיֹּשֶׁר וְהַהַשְׁוָיָה וְכָל לִפְנִים מִשּׁוּרַת הַדִּין לִרְצוֹן חֲבֵרָיו, כַּאֲשֶׁר אֲפָרֵשׁ (שם) בְּהַגִּיעִי לִמְקוֹמוֹ בִּרְצוֹן הקב"ה. וְכֵן בְּעִנְיַן הַשַּׁבָּת, אָסַר הַמְּלָאכוֹת בְּלָאו וְהַטְּרָחִים בַּעֲשֵׂה כְּלָלִי, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר "תִּשְׁבֹּת", וְעוֹד אֲפָרֵשׁ זֶה (רמב"ן על ויקרא כ"ג:כ"ד) בע"ה:

YE SHALL BE HOLY. “Abstain from the forbidden sexual relationships [mentioned in the preceding section] and from [other] sin, because wherever you find [in the Torah] a warning to guard against immorality, you find the mention of ‘holiness.’” This is Rashi’s language. But in the Torath Kohanim I have seen it mentioned without any qualification [i.e., without any particular reference to immorality, as Rashi expressed it], saying: “Be self-restraining.” Similarly, the Rabbis taught there: “And ye shall sanctify yourselves, and be ye holy, for I am Holy. Just as I am Holy, so be you holy. Just as I am Pure, so be you pure.” And in my opinion, this abstinence does not refer only to restraint from acts of immorality, as the Rabbi [Rashi] wrote, but it is rather the self-control mentioned throughout the Talmud, which confers upon those who practice it the name of P’rushim (Pharisees), [literally: “those who are separated” from self-indulgence, as will be explained, or those who practice self-restraint]. The meaning thereof is as follows: The Torah has admonished us against immorality and forbidden foods, but permitted sexual intercourse between man and his wife, and the eating of [certain] meat and wine. If so, a man of desire could consider this to be a permission to be passionately addicted to sexual intercourse with his wife or many wives, and be among winebibbers, among gluttonous eaters of flesh, and speak freely all profanities, since this prohibition has not been [expressly] mentioned in the Torah, and thus he will become a sordid person within the permissible realm of the Torah! Therefore, after having listed the matters which He prohibited altogether, Scripture followed them up by a general command that we practice moderation even in matters which are permitted, [such as in the following]: One should minimize sexual intercourse, similar to that which the Rabbis have said, “So that the disciples of the Sages should not be found together with their wives as often as the hens,” and he should not engage in it except as required in fulfillment of the commandment thereof. He should also sanctify himself [to self-restraint] by using wine in small amounts, just as Scripture calls a Nazirite “holy” [for abstaining from wine and strong drink], and he should remember the evils which the Torah mentioned as following from [drinking wine] in the cases of Noah and Lot. Similarly, he should keep himself away from impurity [in his ordinary daily activity], even though we have not been admonished against it in the Torah, similar to that which the Rabbis have said: “For the P’rushim (Pharisees), the clothes of the unlearned are considered as if trodden upon by a zav” [or zavah — a man or woman having suffered a flux], and just as the Nazirite is called “holy” because of guarding himself from the impurity of the dead. Likewise he should guard his mouth and tongue from being defiled by excessive food and by lewd talk, similar to what Scripture states, and every mouth speaketh wantonness, and he should purify himself in this respect until he reaches the degree known as [complete] “self-restraint,” as the Rabbis said concerning Rabbi Chiya, that never in his life did he engage in unnecessary talk. It is with reference to these and similar matters that this general commandment [Ye shall be holy] is concerned, after He had enumerated all individual deeds which are strictly forbidden, so that cleanliness of hands and body, are also included in this precept, just like the Rabbis have said: “And ye shall sanctify yourselves. This refers to the washing of hands before meals. And be ye holy. This refers to the washing of hands after meals [before the reciting of grace]. For I am holy — this alludes to the spiced oil” [with which they used to rub their hands after a meal]. For although these [washings and perfuming of the hands] are commandments of Rabbinic origin, yet Scripture’s main intention is to warn us of such matters, that we should be [physically] clean and [ritually] pure, and separated from the common people who soil themselves with luxuries and unseemly things. And such is the way of the Torah, that after it lists certain specific prohibitions, it includes them all in a general precept. Thus after warning with detailed laws regarding all business dealings between people, such as not to steal or rob or to wrong one another, and other similar prohibitions, He said in general, And thou shalt do that which is right and good, thus including under a positive commandment the duty of doing that which is right and of agreeing to a compromise [when not to do so would be inequitable]; as well as all requirements to act “beyond” the line of justice [i.e., to be generous in not insisting upon one’s rights as defined by the strict letter of the law, but to agree to act “beyond” that line of the strict law] for the sake of pleasing one’s fellowman, as I will explain when I reach there [that verse], with the will of the Holy One, blessed be He. Similarly in the case of the Sabbath, He prohibited doing certain classes of work by means of a negative commandment, and painstaking labors [not categorized as “work,” such as transferring heavy loads in one’s yard from one place to another, etc.] He included under a general positive commandment, as it is said, but on the seventh day thou shalt rest. I will yet explain this with the help of G-d.

Source 6 · Acharonim
Verified

Mishneh Torah, Forbidden Intercourse 21:9-10

משנה תורה, הלכות איסורי ביאה כ״א:ט׳-י׳

Mishneh Torah, Forbidden Intercourse 21:9-10

Rambam addresses the permissibility of marital intimacy in general, including that a husband may be intimate with his wife in the customary manner and that the act is within the bounds of permitted marital relations. This is a core halakhic source for intimate conduct between spouses.

אִשְׁתּוֹ שֶׁל אָדָם מֻתֶּרֶת הִיא לוֹ. לְפִיכָךְ כָּל מַה שֶּׁאָדָם רוֹצֶה לַעֲשׂוֹת בְּאִשְׁתּוֹ עוֹשֶׂה. בּוֹעֵל בְּכָל עֵת שֶׁיִּרְצֶה וּמְנַשֵּׁק בְּכָל אֵיבָר וְאֵיבָר שֶׁיִּרְצֶה. [וּבָא עָלֶיהָ כְּדַרְכָּהּ וְשֶׁלֹּא כְּדַרְכָּהּ ] וּבִלְבַד שֶׁלֹּא יוֹצִיא שִׁכְבַת זֶרַע לְבַטָּלָה. וְאַף עַל פִּי כֵן מִדַּת חֲסִידוּת שֶׁלֹּא יָקֵל אָדָם אֶת רֹאשׁוֹ לְכָךְ וְשֶׁיְּקַדֵּשׁ עַצְמוֹ בִּשְׁעַת תַּשְׁמִישׁ כְּמוֹ שֶׁבֵּאַרְנוּ בְּהִלְכוֹת דֵּעוֹת. וְלֹא יָסוּר מִדֶּרֶךְ הָעוֹלָם וּמִנְהָגוֹ שֶׁאֵין דָּבָר זֶה אֶלָּא כְּדֵי לִפְרוֹת וְלִרְבּוֹת:

A man's wife is permitted to him. Therefore a man may do whatever he desires with his wife. He may engage in relations whenever he desires, kiss any organ he desires, engage in vaginal or anal intercourse or engage in physical intimacy without relations, provided he does not release seed in vain. Nevertheless, it is pious conduct for a person not to act frivolously concerning such matters and to sanctify himself at the time of relations, as explained in Hilchot Deot. He should not depart from the ordinary pattern of the world. For this act was [given to us] solely for the sake of procreation.

Source 7 · Acharonim
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Shulchan Arukh, Even HaEzer

שולחן ערוך, אבן העזר כ״ה — ד"ה ולא יקל ראשו עם

Shulchan Arukh, Even HaEzer 25:2

The passage discusses the laws and ethical guidelines for marital relations, including that a man may engage in various acts with his wife as long as he does not waste seed, but should conduct himself with modesty, avoid excessive frequency, and ensure his wife's consent and pleasure.

ולא יקל ראשו עם אשתו ולא ינבל פיו בדברי הבאי אפי' בינו לבינה הרי הכתוב אומר מגיד לאדם מה שיחו אמרו חז"ל אפי' שיחה קלה שבין אדם לאשתו עתיד ליתן עליה את הדין ואל יספר עמה בשעת תשמיש ולא קודם לכן כדי שלא יתן דעתו באשה אחרת ואם ספר עמה ושמש מיד עליו נאמר מגיד לאדם מה שיחו אבל בענייני תשמיש יכול לספר עמה כדי להרבות תאותו או אם היה לו כעס עמה וצריך לרצותה שתתפייס יכול לספר עמה כדי לרצותה: הגה ויכול לעשות עם אשתו מה שירצה בועל בכל עת שירצה ומנשק בכל אבר שירצה ובא עליה בין כדרכה בין שלא כדרכה או דרך איברים ובלבד שלא יוציא זרע לבטלה (טור) ויש מקילין ואומרים שמותר שלא כדרכה אפי' אם הוציא זרע אם עושה באקראי ואינו רגיל בכך (גם זה טור בשם ר"י) ואע"פ שמותר בכל אלה כל המקדש עצמו במותר לו קדוש יאמרו לו (דברי הרב) ולא ירבה בתשמיש להיות מצוי אצלה תמיד שדבר זה פגום הוא מאד ומעשה בורות הוא אלא כל הממעט בתשמיש ה"ז משובח ובלבד שלא יבטל עונה אלא מדעת אשתו ואף כשישמש בשעת העונה לא יכוין להנאתו אלא כאדם הפורע חובו שהוא חייב בעונתה ולקיים מצות בוראו בפריה ורביה ושיהיו לו בנים עוסקים בתורה ומקיימי מצות בישראל ולא יבעול אלא מרצונה ואם אינה מרוצה יפייסנה עד שתתרצה ויהיה צנוע מאד בשעת תשמיש ולא ישמש בפני שום מין אדם אפילו קטן אא"כ הוא תינוק שאינו יודע לדבר:

A man should not act with levity with his wife, nor should he degrade his speech with nonsense, even between him and her. The verse says, "He tells man what his speech is" (Amos 4:13) and the Sages comment, "Even light conversation between a man and his wife will be brought to judgement in the future." He should not speak with her during intercourse, nor before it, lest he direct his thoughts to another woman. If he does speak with her and proceed immediately to intercourse, about him the verse says, "He tells man what his speech is". He may speak about matters pertinent to the intercourse, to increase his desire, or if there was strife between them and he needed to appeal to her and appease her, he may speak with her to appeal to her. Rem"a: He may do with his wife whatever he wishes. He may have intercourse whenever he wishes, he may kiss any part of her body that he desires, he may have vaginal [typical] or anal [atypical] intercourse, or stimulate himself with other parts of her body, so long as he does not ejaculate outside the vagina (Tur). Some authorities are lenient and say that he may even ejaculate during anal intercourse, if it is occasional and not his habit (Tur). Even though all of this is permissible, anyone who wishes to sanctify himself [by abstaining] from the permitted is called holy. He should not have frequent intercourse so that he is always with her, for this is extremely detrimental and it is the way of boors; it is meritorious to minimize intercourse, only keeping to the minimum required by marital obligations. Even when fulfilling marital obligations he should not focus on his pleasure, it should instead be as on paying back an obligation, for he is obligated in marital duties, and to fulfill the mitzvah of being fruitful and multiplying, and to have children who study Torah and perform mitzvot for the people of Israel. He may not have intercourse without her consent, and if she is not interested he should appease her until she is interested. He should be very private during intercourse, having no people of any kind around, even a child, unless it is a baby who cannot speak.

Source 8 · Acharonim
Verified

Arukh HaShulchan, Even HaEzer 25

ערוך השולחן, אבן העזר כ״ה

Arukh HaShulchan, Even HaEzer 25

Arukh HaShulchan surveys the laws and customs of marital relations and frames them within halakhic propriety and dignity. It is one of the key later authorities for practical questions of permitted spousal conduct.

לפיכך אע"ג דקיי"ל [שם] דכל מה שאדם רוצה לעשות באשתו עושה כשהיא טהורה, בועל בכל עת שירצה ומנשק בכל אבר שירצה ובא עליה בין בדרכה ובין שלא כדרכה או דרך אברים ובלבד שלא יוציא זרע לבטלה [טור] – מ"מ השם אורחותיו אין לו לעשות כן אלא ישמש במקום שראוי ליזרע ולהוליד דא"א להזהר שלא יוציא זרע לבטלה וכמה חמור עון זה.