Sources explore the conditions under which one is obligated to offer rebuke (tochacha) and when silence is preferable or necessary. They address the effectiveness of rebuke, the receptiveness of the listener, the relationship between the parties, and the manner in which rebuke should be delivered.
כְּשֵׁם שֶׁמִּצְוָה עַל אָדָם לוֹמַר דָּבָר הַנִּשְׁמָע — כָּךְ מִצְוָה עַל אָדָם שֶׁלֹּא לוֹמַר דָּבָר שֶׁאֵינוֹ נִשְׁמָע
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What the sources say
The Torah itself establishes the baseline obligation: Vayikra 19:17 commands "reprove your kindred but incur no guilt on their account," and the Gemara in Arakhin 16b derives from the doubled language "hokhe'aḥ tokhiaḥ" that one must rebuke repeatedly even if the first rebuke goes unheeded — though the same pasuk's concluding clause limits this by forbidding rebuke that causes the other person public humiliation.
The obligation is broad: Mishneh Torah, Human Dispositions 6:7–8 rules that one who sees a fellow Jew sinning is obligated to correct him privately, gently, and repeatedly, and Mishneh Torah, Repentance 4:1 counts among the gravest sins the failure of one who could have protested and did not.
Yet receptivity is decisive: the Gemara in Yevamot 65b rules that just as it is a mitzva to say what will be heeded, so it is a mitzva — and according to Rabbi Abba even an obligation — not to say what will not be heeded, citing Mishlei 9:8, "do not rebuke scoffers lest they hate you."
Sefer Chasidim 39 sharpens this distinction: when one knows with certainty that rebuke will not be accepted, it is better to remain silent so that the person stays an unwitting sinner rather than becoming a willful one — but when one's words will be heard, speaking out is required; and Mishnah Berurah 608 adds that this calculus differs between an individual and a community, since with a community one need only rebuke once even when rejection is certain, whereas with an individual one must keep rebuking up to the point of being struck or cursed.
משלי ט׳:ח׳
Proverbs 9:8
The verse contrasts rebuking a scoffer, who may hate you, with rebuking a wise person, who will love you. It highlights that rebuke must be directed wisely and may be received differently depending on the listener.
אַל־תּ֣וֹכַח לֵ֭ץ פֶּן־יִשְׂנָאֶ֑ךָּ הוֹכַ֥ח לְ֝חָכָ֗ם וְיֶאֱהָבֶֽךָּ׃
Do not rebuke scoffers, for they will hate you; Reprove the wise, and they will love you.
ויקרא י״ט:י״ז
Leviticus 19:17
The verse commands: 'You shall surely rebuke your fellow, and not bear sin because of him.' It is the Torah's direct source for the obligation of tochacha.
לֹֽא־תִשְׂנָ֥א אֶת־אָחִ֖יךָ בִּלְבָבֶ֑ךָ הוֹכֵ֤חַ תּוֹכִ֙יחַ֙ אֶת־עֲמִיתֶ֔ךָ וְלֹא־תִשָּׂ֥א עָלָ֖יו חֵֽטְא׃
You shall not hate your kinsfolk in your heart. Reprove your kindred but incur no guilt on their account.
משלי י״ז:י׳
Proverbs 17:10
The verse says rebuke has more effect on a discerning person than one hundred lashes on a fool. It frames rebuke as effective only when the listener is receptive.
תֵּ֣חַת גְּעָרָ֣ה בְמֵבִ֑ין מֵהַכּ֖וֹת כְּסִ֣יל מֵאָֽה׃
A rebuke works on an intelligent person More than one hundred blows on a fool.
Tanna DeBei Eliyahu Rabbah:32
One must rebuke one's fellow Jew who loves you and stands with you in Torah and mitzvot, but not a wicked person who hates you, for rebuking the wicked only brings disgrace and hatred rather than improvement.
כמו כן יעשה כל אחד ואחד מישראל לחבירו שנאמר (ויקרא יט) לא תשנא את אחיך בלבבך הוכיח תוכיח את עמיתך ולא תשא עליו חטא לא תקום ולא תטור את בני עמך ואהבת לרעך כמוך אני ה'. מה ת"ל בלבבך בשנאה המיושבת בלב יכול באחיו מן האב או מן האם הכתוב מדבר או יכול שאינו מדבר אלא כנגד הקב"ה שאין לו אחים אלא ישראל שאינו שונא אותם לא בעולם הזה ולא לימות בן דוד ולא לעולם הבא אלו צדיקי עולם שעושין תורתו בכל יום תמיד שהקב"ה קורא אותם אחי ורעי שנאמר למען אחי ורעי אדברה נא שלום בך (תהלים קכב) ת"ל הוכיח תוכיח את עמיתך יכול אפילו אם אתה יודע שהוא רשע ושונאך אע"פ כן אתה חייב להוכיח אותו ת"ל הוכח תוכיח את עמיתך לעמיתך שהוא אוהבך ושהוא עמך בתורה ומצות אתה חייב להוכיח אותו אבל לרשע שהוא שונאיך אין אתה חייב להוכיח אותו וגם אי אתה רשאי להוכיח אותו שנאמר (משלי ט) יוסר לץ לוקח לו קלון ומוכיח לרשע מומו אל תוכח לץ פן ישנאך הוכח לחכם ויאהבך.
Sulam on Zohar, Kedoshim 102
When rebuking someone, first rebuke privately so others don't know; if rebuking in front of associates and loved ones, do so between them; if rebuking in public, do so openly—but if the person is one who becomes ashamed, do not rebuke him even privately; instead, mention the sin indirectly in conversation (as if discussing other matters) so he understands and abandons it on his own.
שפירושו, הוכח, היינו בסתר, שלא ידע בן אדם. תוכיח, היינו בין חבריו ואוהביו. את עמיתך, היינו בגלוי. וע״כ לא כתוב בתחילה תוכיח, שפירושו בין חבריו, אלא הוכח בסתר. הוכח, אם הוא אדם שמתבייש, לא יאמר לו, ולא יוכיחו, אפילו בסתר, אלא יאמר לפניו, כמי שמספר דברים אחרים, ובתוך אלו הדברים יזכיר, מי שעשה אותו עון, הוא כך וכך, כדי שהוא יבין בעצמו ויעזוב אותו עון.
יבמות ס״ה ב — ד"ה וְאָמַר רַבִּי אִילְעָא מִשּׁוּם רַבִּי אֶלְעָזָר
Yevamot 65b:6
The Gemara teaches that just as it is a mitzvah to say something that will be heard, it is a mitzvah not to say something that will not be heard. This is a core source for knowing when silence is preferable to rebuke.
וְאָמַר רַבִּי אִילְעָא מִשּׁוּם רַבִּי אֶלְעָזָר בְּרַבִּי שִׁמְעוֹן: כְּשֵׁם שֶׁמִּצְוָה עַל אָדָם לוֹמַר דָּבָר הַנִּשְׁמָע — כָּךְ מִצְוָה עַל אָדָם שֶׁלֹּא לוֹמַר דָּבָר שֶׁאֵינוֹ נִשְׁמָע. רַבִּי אַבָּא אוֹמֵר: חוֹבָה, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר: ״אַל תּוֹכַח לֵץ פֶּן יִשְׂנָאֶךָּ הוֹכַח לְחָכָם וְיֶאֱהָבֶךָּ״.
The Gemara cites other statements made by Rabbi Ile’a in the name of Rabbi Elazar, son of Rabbi Shimon. And Rabbi Ile’a said in the name of Rabbi Elazar, son of Rabbi Shimon: Just as it is a mitzva for a person to say that which will be heeded, so is it a mitzva for a person not to say that which will not be heeded. One should not rebuke those who will be unreceptive to his message. Rabbi Abba says: It is obligatory for him to refrain from speaking, as it is stated: “Do not reprove a scorner lest he hate you; reprove a wise man and he will love you” (Proverbs 9:8).
ערכין ל׳ ב — ד"ה אֲמַר לֵיהּ
Arakhin 30b:12
The tanna of Rabbi Yishmael's school teaches that even when someone has acted wrongly by selling himself to idolatry, one should not abandon him entirely; rather, the Torah's requirement of redemption applies to prevent his assimilation among gentiles, though the terms of redemption may be made stringent given that his servitude results from his own sins.
אֲמַר לֵיהּ: הָא אַהְדְּרֵיהּ קְרָא, וְתָנָא דְּבֵי רַבִּי יִשְׁמָעֵאל: הוֹאִיל וְהָלַךְ וּמָכַר עַצְמוֹ לַעֲבוֹדָה זָרָה, אֶידְחֶה אֶבֶן אַחֵר הַנּוֹפֵל? תַּלְמוּד לוֹמַר: ״גְּאוּלַּת עוֹלָם תִּהְיֶה לּוֹ וּבַיּוֹבֵל יֵצֵא״. אֵימָא: גְּאוּלָּה תִּהְיֶה לוֹ — דְּלָא לִיטַּמַּע בַּגּוֹיִם, וּלְעוֹלָם לְעִנְיַן פִּדְיוֹנוֹ נַחְמִיר!
Abaye said to that Sage: But the verse subsequently restores him, i.e., it requires that one strive to redeem him from slavery. As the tanna of the school of Rabbi Yishmael taught: Since he went and sold himself to a temple dedicated to idol worship, should I throw a stone after the fallen? In other words, perhaps he should be left to his own devices? The verse states: He shall have a perpetual right of redemption, and he shall leave in the Jubilee (see Leviticus 25:31, 48). The Gemara objects: Even so, you can say that he shall have a redemption so that he will not be assimilated among the gentiles, but actually, with regard to his redemption we will be stringent, as it is due only to his sins that he is enslaved.
שבת נ״ה א — ד"ה אֲמַר לֵיהּ רַבִּי זֵירָא לְרַבִּי סִימוֹן
Shabbat 55a:4
The Gemara states that there was no reprover in the generation, and discusses responsibility to protest wrongdoing. It is a foundational text for the duty to protest when rebuke may prevent sin.
אֲמַר לֵיהּ רַבִּי זֵירָא לְרַבִּי סִימוֹן: לוֹכְחִינְהוּ מָר לְהָנֵי דְּבֵי רֵישׁ גָּלוּתָא. אֲמַר לֵיהּ: לָא מְקַבְּלִי מִינַּאי. אֲמַר לֵיהּ: אַף עַל גַּב דְּלָא מְקַבְּלִי לוֹכְחִינְהוּ מָר. אָמְרָה מִדַּת הַדִּין לִפְנֵי הַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא: רִבּוֹנוֹ שֶׁל עוֹלָם! מַה נִּשְׁתַּנּוּ אֵלּוּ מֵאֵלּוּ? אָמַר לָהּ: הַלָּלוּ צַדִּיקִים גְּמוּרִים וְהַלָּלוּ רְשָׁעִים גְּמוּרִים. אָמְרָה לְפָנָיו: רִבּוֹנוֹ שֶׁל עוֹלָם! הָיָה בְּיָדָם לִמְחוֹת וְלֹא מִיחוּ! אָמַר לָהּ: גָּלוּי וְיָדוּעַ לְפָנַי שֶׁאִם מִיחוּ בָּהֶם לֹא יְקַבְּלוּ מֵהֶם. (אָמַר) [אָמְרָה] לְפָנָיו: רִבּוֹנוֹ שֶׁל עוֹלָם! אִם לְפָנֶיךָ גָּלוּי, לָהֶם מִי גָּלוּי?
With regard to the issue of reprimand, it was related that Rabbi Zeira said to Rabbi Simon: Let the Master reprimand the members of the house of the Exilarch, as Rabbi Simon had some influence over them. Rabbi Simon said to him: They will not accept reprimand from me. Rabbi Zeira said to him: Let my master reprimand them even if they do not accept it. The attribute of justice said before the Holy One, Blessed be He: Master of the Universe, how are these different from those? He said to that attribute: These are full-fledged righteous people and those are full-fledged wicked people. The attribute of justice said to Him: Master of the Universe, it was in the hands of the righteous to protest the conduct of the wicked, and they did not protest. He said to that attribute: It is revealed and known before Me that even had they protested the conduct of the wicked, they would not have accepted the reprimand from them. They would have continued in their wicked ways. The attribute of justice said before Him: Master of the Universe, if it is revealed before You that their reprimand would have been ineffective, is it revealed to them? The Holy One, Blessed be He, retracted His promise to protect the righteous and decided that those who failed to protest would also be punished.
ערכין ט״ז ב — ד"ה מִנַּיִן לָרוֹאֶה בַּחֲבֵירוֹ דָּבָר מְגוּנֶּה שֶׁחַיָּיב
Arakhin 16b:5
This is the classic tractate on tochacha. It discusses the duty to rebuke repeatedly, the possibility that one is not accepted, and the balance between obligation and futility in rebuke.
מִנַּיִן לָרוֹאֶה בַּחֲבֵירוֹ דָּבָר מְגוּנֶּה שֶׁחַיָּיב לְהוֹכִיחוֹ? שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר: ״הוֹכֵחַ תּוֹכִיחַ״. הוֹכִיחוֹ וְלֹא קִבֵּל, מִנַּיִן שֶׁיַּחֲזוֹר וְיוֹכִיחֶנּוּ? תַּלְמוּד לוֹמַר: ״תּוֹכִיחַ״, מִכׇּל מָקוֹם. יָכוֹל אֲפִילּוּ מִשְׁתַּנִּים פָּנָיו? תַּלְמוּד לוֹמַר: ״לֹא תִשָּׂא עָלָיו חֵטְא״. תַּנְיָא, אָמַר רַבִּי טַרְפוֹן: תְּמֵיהַנִי אֲנִי אִם יֵשׁ בַּדּוֹר הַזֶּה שֶׁמְּקַבֵּל תּוֹכֵחָה, אֲפִילּוּ אָמַר לוֹ ״טוֹל קֵיסָם מִבֵּין עֵינֶיךָ״, אוֹמֵר לוֹ ״טוֹל קוֹרָה מִבֵּין עֵינֶיךָ״. אָמַר רַבִּי אֶלְעָזָר בֶּן עֲזַרְיָה: תְּמֵיהַנִי אִם יֵשׁ בְּדוֹר הַזֶּה שֶׁיּוֹדֵעַ לְהוֹכִיחַ. עַד הֵיכָן תּוֹכֵחָה? רַב אָמַר: עַד הַכָּאָה, וּשְׁמוּאֵל אָמַר: עַד קְלָלָה, וְרַבִּי יוֹחָנָן אָמַר: עַד נְזִיפָה. כְּתַנָּאֵי: רַבִּי אֱלִיעֶזֶר אוֹמֵר: עַד הַכָּאָה, רַבִּי יְהוֹשֻׁעַ אוֹמֵר: עַד קְלָלָה, בֶּן עַזַּאי אוֹמֵר: עַד נְזִיפָה.
From where is it derived with regard to one who sees an unseemly matter in another that he is obligated to rebuke him? As it is stated: “You shall rebuke [hokhe’aḥ tokhiaḥ] your neighbor.” If one rebuked him for his action but he did not accept the rebuke, from where is it derived that he must rebuke him again? The verse states: “You shall rebuke [hokhe’aḥ tokhiaḥ],” and the double language indicates he must rebuke in any case. One might have thought that one should continue rebuking him even if his face changes due to humiliation. Therefore, the verse states: “Do not bear sin because of him”; the one giving rebuke may not sin by embarrassing the other person. It is taught in a baraita that Rabbi Tarfon says: I would be surprised if there is anyone in this generation who can receive rebuke. Why? Because if the one rebuking says to him: Remove the splinter from between your eyes, i.e., rid yourself of a minor infraction, the other says to him: Remove the beam from between your eyes, i.e., you have committed far more severe sins. Rabbi Elazar ben Azaria says: I would be surprised if there is anyone in this generation who knows how to rebuke correctly, without embarrassing the person he is rebuking. § The Gemara asks: Until where does the obligation of rebuke extend? Rav says: Until his rebuke is met by hitting, i.e., until the person being rebuked hits the person rebuking him.And Shmuel says: Until his rebuke is met by cursing, i.e., he curses the one rebuking him. And Rabbi Yoḥanan says: Until his rebuke is met by reprimand. The Gemara points out that this dispute between these amora’im is like a dispute between tanna’im: Rabbi Eliezer says: Until his rebuke is met by hitting; Rabbi Yehoshua says: Until his rebuke is met by cursing; ben Azzai says: Until his rebuke is met by reprimand.
ברכות ז׳ א — ד"ה וְאָמַר רַבִּי יוֹחָנָן מִשּׁוּם רַבִּי יוֹסֵי
Berakhot 7a:5
The sugya discusses when it is appropriate to protest and when silence may be preferable, including Moshe's concern about whether rebuke will help and the limits of moral intervention. It is a key Talmudic discussion for effective tochacha.
וְאָמַר רַבִּי יוֹחָנָן מִשּׁוּם רַבִּי יוֹסֵי: מִנַּיִן שֶׁאֵין מְרַצִּין לוֹ לְאָדָם בִּשְׁעַת כַּעְסוֹ, דִּכְתִיב: ״פָּנַי יֵלֵכוּ וַהֲנִחֹתִי לָךְ״. אָמַר לוֹ הַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא לְמֹשֶׁה: הַמְתֵּן לִי עַד שֶׁיַּעַבְרוּ פָּנִים שֶׁל זַעַם וְאָנִיחַ לְךָ. הַהוּא מִינָא דַּהֲוָה בְּשִׁבְבוּתֵיהּ דְּרַבִּי יְהוֹשֻׁעַ בֶּן לֵוִי, הֲוָה קָא מְצַעֵר לֵיהּ טוּבָא בִּקְרָאֵי. יוֹמָא חַד שְׁקַל תַּרְנְגוֹלָא, וְאוֹקְמֵיהּ בֵּין כַּרְעֵיהּ דְּעַרְסָא, וְעַיֵּין בֵּיהּ, סְבַר: כִּי מָטָא הַהִיא שַׁעְתָּא, אֶלְטְיֵיהּ. כִּי מְטָא הַהִיא שַׁעְתָּא — נָיֵים. אֲמַר: שְׁמַע מִינַּהּ, לָאו אוֹרַח אַרְעָא לְמֶעְבַּד הָכִי. ״וְרַחֲמָיו עַל כָּל מַעֲשָׂיו״ כְּתִיב.
And Rabbi Yoḥanan said in the name of Rabbi Yosei: From where is it derived that one must not placate a person while he is in the throes of his anger, rather he should mollify him after he has calmed down? As it is written, when following the sin of the Golden Calf, Moses requested that the Divine Presence rest upon Israel as it had previously, God said to him: “My face will go, and I will give you rest” (Exodus 33:14). Rabbi Yoḥanan explained: The Holy One, Blessed be He, said to Moses: Wait until My face of wrath will pass and I will grant your request. One must wait for a person’s anger to pass as well. The Gemara relates: A certain heretic who was in Rabbi Yehoshua ben Levi’s neighborhood would upset him by incessantly challenging the legitimacy of verses. One day, Rabbi Yehoshua ben Levi took a rooster and placed it between the legs of the bed upon which he sat and looked at it. He thought: When the moment of God’s anger arrives, I will curse him and be rid of him. When the moment of God’s anger arrived, Rabbi Yehoshua ben Levi slept. When he woke up, he said to himself: Conclude from the fact that I nodded off that it is not proper conduct to do so, to curse people, even if they are wicked. “His mercy is over all His creations” (Psalms 145:9) is written even with regard to sinners.
Sefer Chasidim 39
There is a time to be silent and a time to speak: one should not respond when people are mocking or cursing, or speaking foolish things, but should speak when they speak words of Torah; one should be silent from giving rebuke unless one knows that one's words will be accepted, since it is better that they sin unintentionally than intentionally, but one should speak when one has the power to prevent wrongdoing and one's words will be heard.
עת לחשות ועת לדבר כשמחרפים ומקללים אותו וכשמדברים דברי הדיוטות אין להשיב ועת לדבר כשמדברים מדברי תורה לא עת לחשות. גם עת לחשות שלא להוכיח עד אשר ידעת כי בשום דבר לא יקבלו תוכחה כי מוטב שיהיו שוגגים ואל יהיו מזידים ועת לדבר כשבידך למחות ודבריך נשמעים:
Mishneh Torah, Human Dispositions 6:6
When one person sins against another, he must not hate him and remain silent like Absalom regarding Amnon, but rather is obligated to inform the offender and rebuke him by asking why he acted that way, as commanded by the mitzvah of tochacha.
כְּשֶׁיֶּחְטָא אִישׁ לְאִישׁ לֹא יִשְׂטְמֶנּוּ וְיִשְׁתֹּק כְּמוֹ שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר בָּרְשָׁעִים (שמואל ב יג כב) "וְלֹא דִבֶּר אַבְשָׁלוֹם אֶת אַמְנוֹן מְאוּמָה לְמֵרָע וְעַד טוֹב כִּי שָׂנֵא אַבְשָׁלוֹם אֶת אַמְנוֹן". אֶלָּא מִצְוָה עָלָיו לְהוֹדִיעוֹ וְלוֹמַר לוֹ לָמָּה עָשִׂיתָ לִי כָּךְ וְכָךְ וְלָמָּה חָטָאתָ לִי בְּדָבָר פְּלוֹנִי. שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר (ויקרא יט יז) "הוֹכֵחַ תּוֹכִיחַ אֶת עֲמִיתֶךָ".
משנה תורה, הלכות תשובה ד׳:א׳
Mishneh Torah, Repentance 4:1
One who has the ability to protest against the wrongdoing of others—whether individuals or groups—but refrains from doing so and instead leaves them in their transgression, is included in this category of sin.
וּבִכְלַל עָוֹן זֶה כָּל שֶׁאֶפְשָׁר בְּיָדוֹ לִמְחוֹת בַּאֲחֵרִים בֵּין יָחִיד בֵּין רַבִּים וְלֹא מִחָה אֶלָּא יַנִּיחֵם בְּכִשְׁלוֹנָם.
משנה תורה, הלכות דעות ו׳:ז׳-ח׳
Mishneh Torah, Human Dispositions 6:7-8
Rambam codifies the obligation to rebuke a sinner privately, gently, and repeatedly when appropriate, while warning against shaming or causing anger. He also distinguishes between effective rebuke and cases where the person is not open to it.
הָרוֹאֶה חֲבֵרוֹ שֶׁחָטָא אוֹ שֶׁהָלַךְ בְּדֶרֶךְ לֹא טוֹבָה מִצְוָה לְהַחֲזִירוֹ לַמּוּטָב וּלְהוֹדִיעוֹ שֶׁהוּא חוֹטֵא עַל עַצְמוֹ בְּמַעֲשָׂיו הָרָעִים שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר (ויקרא יט יז) "הוֹכֵחַ תּוֹכִיחַ אֶת עֲמִיתֶךָ". הַמּוֹכִיחַ אֶת חֲבֵרוֹ. בֵּין בִּדְבָרִים שֶׁבֵּינוֹ לְבֵינוֹ. בֵּין בִּדְבָרִים שֶׁבֵּינוֹ לְבֵין הַמָּקוֹם. צָרִיךְ לְהוֹכִיחוֹ בֵּינוֹ לְבֵין עַצְמוֹ. וִידַבֵּר לוֹ בְּנַחַת וּבְלָשׁוֹן רַכָּה וְיוֹדִיעוֹ שֶׁאֵינוֹ אוֹמֵר לוֹ אֶלָּא לְטוֹבָתוֹ לַהֲבִיאוֹ לְחַיֵּי הָעוֹלָם הַבָּא. אִם קִבֵּל מִמֶּנּוּ מוּטָב וְאִם לָאו יוֹכִיחֶנּוּ פַּעַם שְׁנִיָּה וּשְׁלִישִׁית. וְכֵן תָּמִיד חַיָּב אָדָם לְהוֹכִיחוֹ עַד שֶׁיַּכֵּהוּ הַחוֹטֵא וְיֹאמַר לוֹ אֵינִי שׁוֹמֵעַ. וְכָל שֶׁאֶפְשָׁר בְּיָדוֹ לִמְחוֹת וְאֵינוֹ מוֹחֶה הוּא נִתְפָּשׂ בַּעֲוֹן אֵלּוּ כֵּיוָן שֶׁאֶפְשָׁר לוֹ לִמְחוֹת בָּהֶם: הַמּוֹכִיחַ אֶת חֲבֵרוֹ תְּחִלָּה לֹא יְדַבֵּר לוֹ קָשׁוֹת עַד שֶׁיַּכְלִימֶנּוּ שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר (ויקרא יט יז) "וְלֹא תִשָּׂא עָלָיו חֵטְא". כָּךְ אָמְרוּ חֲכָמִים יָכוֹל אַתָּה מוֹכִיחוֹ וּפָנָיו מִשְׁתַּנּוֹת תַּלְמוּד לוֹמַר וְלֹא תִשָּׂא עָלָיו חֵטְא. מִכָּאן שֶׁאָסוּר לָאָדָם לְהַכְלִים אֶת יִשְׂרָאֵל וְכָל שֶׁכֵּן בָּרַבִּים. אַף עַל פִּי שֶׁהַמַּכְלִים אֶת חֲבֵרוֹ אֵינוֹ לוֹקֶה עָלָיו עָוֹן גָּדוֹל הוּא. כָּךְ אָמְרוּ חֲכָמִים (גמרא סנהדרין קז א) "הַמַּלְבִּין פְּנֵי חֲבֵרוֹ בָּרַבִּים אֵין לוֹ חֵלֶק לָעוֹלָם הַבָּא". לְפִיכָךְ צָרִיךְ אָדָם לְהִזָּהֵר שֶׁלֹּא לְבַיֵּשׁ חֲבֵרוֹ בָּרַבִּים בֵּין קָטָן בֵּין גָּדוֹל. וְלֹא יִקְרָא לוֹ בְּשֵׁם שֶׁהוּא בּוֹשׁ מִמֶּנּוּ. וְלֹא יְסַפֵּר לְפָנָיו דָּבָר שֶׁהוּא בּוֹשׁ מִמֶּנּוּ. בַּמֶּה דְּבָרִים אֲמוּרִים בִּדְבָרִים שֶׁבֵּין אָדָם לַחֲבֵרוֹ. אֲבָל בְּדִבְרֵי שָׁמַיִם אִם לֹא חָזַר בּוֹ בַּסֵּתֶר מַכְלִימִין אוֹתוֹ בָּרַבִּים וּמְפַרְסְמִים חֶטְאוֹ וּמְחָרְפִים אוֹתוֹ בְּפָנָיו וּמְבַזִּין וּמְקַלְּלִין אוֹתוֹ עַד שֶׁיַּחֲזֹר לַמּוּטָב כְּמוֹ שֶׁעָשׂוּ כָּל הַנְּבִיאִים בְּיִשְׂרָאֵל:
It is a mitzvah for a person who sees that his fellow Jew has sinned or is following an improper path [to attempt] to correct his behavior and to inform him that he is causing himself a loss by his evil deeds as [Leviticus 19:17] states: "You shall surely admonish your colleague." A person who rebukes a colleague - whether because of a [wrong committed] against him or because of a matter between his colleague and God - should rebuke him privately. He should speak to him patiently and gently, informing him that he is only making these statements for his colleague's own welfare, to allow him to merit the life of the world to come. If he accepts [the rebuke], it is good; if not, he should rebuke him a second and third time. Indeed, one is obligated to rebuke a colleague who does wrong until the latter strikes him and tells him: "I will not listen." Whoever has the possibility of rebuking [sinners] and fails to do so is considered responsible for that sin, for he had the opportunity to rebuke the [sinners]. At first, a person who admonishes a colleague should not speak to him harshly until he becomes embarrassed as [Leviticus 19:17] states: "[You should]... not bear a sin because of him." This is what our Sages said: Should you rebuke him to the point that his face changes [color]? The Torah states: "[You should]... not bear a sin because of him." From this, [we learn that] it is forbidden for a person to embarrass a [fellow] Jew. How much more so [is it forbidden to embarrass him] in public. Even though a person who embarrasses a colleague is not [liable for] lashes on account of him, it is a great sin. Our Sages said: "A person who embarrasses a colleague in public does not have a share in the world to come." Therefore, a person should be careful not to embarrass a colleague - whether of great or lesser stature - in public, and not to call him a name which embarrasses him or to relate a matter that brings him shame in his presence. When does the above apply? In regard to matters between one man and another. However, in regard to spiritual matters, if [a transgressor] does not repent [after being admonished] in private, he may be put to shame in public and his sin may be publicized. He may be subjected to abuse, scorn, and curses until he repents, as was the practice of all the prophets of Israel.
ספר החינוך רל״ט — ד"ה מִצְוַת תּוֹכֵחָה לְיִשְׂרָאֵל שֶׁאֵינוֹ נוֹהֵג כַּשּׁוּרָה
Sefer HaChinukh 239:1
The Chinukh on the mitzvah of rebuke explains that tochacha is meant to improve the wrongdoer and that the rebuker must do so in a way likely to be accepted. It emphasizes wisdom, timing, and avoiding humiliation.
מִצְוַת תּוֹכֵחָה לְיִשְׂרָאֵל שֶׁאֵינוֹ נוֹהֵג כַּשּׁוּרָה – לְהוֹכִיחַ אֶחָד מִיִּשְׂרָאֵל שֶׁאֵינוֹ מִתְנַהֵג כַּשּׁוּרָה, בֵּין בִּדְבָרִים שֶׁבֵּין אָדָם לַחֲבֵרוֹ אוֹ בֵּין אָדָם לַמָּקוֹם, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר (ויקרא יט יז) הוֹכֵחַ תּוֹכִיחַ אֶת עֲמִיתֶךָ וְלֹא תִשָּׂא עָלָיו חֵטְא. וְאָמְרוּ בַּסִּפְרָא (קדושים ד ח) מִנַּיִן אִם הוֹכַחְתּוֹ אַרְבָּעָה וַחֲמִשָּׁה פְּעָמִים וְלֹא חָזַר, שֶׁאַתָּה חַיָּב לַחְזֹר וּלְהוֹכִיחַ? תַּלְמוּד לוֹמַר הוֹכֵחַ תּוֹכִיחַ. וְעוֹד אָמְרוּ זִכְרוֹנָם לִבְרָכָה בַּגְּמָרָא (ב"מ לא א) הוֹכֵחַ תּוֹכִיחַ אֲפִלּוּ מֵאָה פְּעָמִים. וְאָמְרוּ שָׁם בַּסִּפְרָא יָכוֹל מוֹכִיחוֹ וּפָנָיו מִשְׁתַּנּוֹת? תַּלְמוּד לוֹמַר וְלֹא תִשָּׂא עָלָיו חֵטְא. וְזֶה מְלַמֵּד שֶׁבִּתְחִלַּת הַתּוֹכֵחָה שֶׁרָאוּי לָאָדָם, לְהוֹכִיחַ בַּסֵּתֶר וּבְלָשׁוֹן רַכָּה וְדִבְרֵי נַחַת, כְּדֵי שֶׁלֹּא יִתְבַּיֵּשׁ, וְאֵין סָפֵק שֶׁאִם לֹא חָזַר בּוֹ בְּכָךְ, שֶׁמַּכְלִימִין הַחוֹטֵא בָּרַבִּים וּמְפַרְסְמִין חֶטְאוֹ וּמְחָרְפִין אוֹתוֹ עַד שֶׁיַּחְזֹר לַמּוּטָב. מִדִּינֵי הַמִּצְוָה. מָה שֶׁאָמְרוּ זִכְרוֹנָם לִבְרָכָה (ערכין טז ב) שֶׁחִיּוּב מִצְוָה זוֹ עַד הַכָּאָה, כְּלוֹמַר שֶׁחַיָּב הַמּוֹכִיחַ לְהַרְבּוֹת תּוֹכְחוֹתָיו אֶל הַחוֹטֵא עַד כְּדֵי שֶׁיִּהְיֶה קָרוֹב הַחוֹטֵא לְהַכּוֹת אֶת הַמּוֹכִיחַ. וּמִכָּל מָקוֹם, אָמְרוּ זִכְרוֹנָם לִבְרָכָה (שם) גַּם כֵּן, שֶׁאִם יִרְאֶה הַמּוֹכִיחַ שֶׁאֵין בְּדִבְרֵי תּוֹכְחוֹתָיו שׁוּם תּוֹעֶלֶת נִמְצָא, מִתּוֹךְ גֹּדֶל רֶשַׁע הַחוֹטֵא, אוֹ שֶׁהוּא אַלָּם וְרָשָׁע בְּיוֹתֵר וּמִתְיָרֵא מִמֶּנּוּ שֶׁלֹּא יַעֲמֹד עָלָיו וְיַהַרְגֶנּוּ שֶׁאֵינוֹ חַיָּב בְּמִצְוָה זוֹ בְּאִישׁ כָּזֶה, וְזֶהוּ אָמְרָם זִכְרוֹנָם לִבְרָכָה (יבמות סה ב) כְּשֵׁם שֶׁמִּצְוָה לוֹמַר דָּבָר הַנִּשְׁמָע, כָּךְ מִצְוָה לִשְׁתֹּק בְּמָקוֹם שֶׁאֵין הַדָּבָר נִשְׁמָע, לְפִי שֶׁיִּהְיֶה בָּעִנְיָן קָלוֹן לַמּוֹכִיחַ וְלֹא תּוֹעֶלֶת לַאֲשֶׁר הוּכַח. וּמִכָּל מָקוֹם יֵשׁ לְהִתְיַשֵּׁב לְכָל בַּעַל נֶפֶשׁ וּלְהַשְׁגִּיחַ הַרְבֵּה בְּעִנְיָנִים אֵלֶּה, וְלַחְשֹׁב וְלִרְאוֹת אִם יִהְיֶה תּוֹעֶלֶת בִּדְבָרָיו אֶל הַחוֹטֵא, שֶׁיּוֹכִיחֶנּוּ וְיִבְטַח בַּשֵּׁם יִתְבָּרַךְ, כִּי הוּא יַעְזְרֶנּוּ בְּהִלָּחֲמוֹ עִם שׂוֹנְאָיו, וְאַל יֵרַךְ לְבָבוֹ וְלֹא יִירָא, כִּי הַשֵּׁם שׁוֹמֵר אֶת כָּל אֹהֲבָיו וְאֵת כָּל הָרְשָׁעִים יַשְׁמִיד, וְאִם יָשׁוּב הַחוֹטֵא יִהְיֶה לוֹ בָּזֶה שָׂכָר גָּדוֹל, וּמִי שֶׁבְּיָדוֹ לַהֲשִׁיבוֹ וְלִמְחוֹת בּוֹ וְלֹא מָחָה הוּא נִתְפָּשׂ עַל חֶטְאוֹ, וְזֶה דָּבָר בָּרוּר מִדִּבְרֵי רַבּוֹתֵינוּ (שבת נה א), גַּם מִן הַכָּתוּב (ישעיהוג יד). וְעוֹד אָמְרוּ זִכְרוֹנָם לִבְרָכָה (שם) שֶׁאֲפִילּוּ הַקָּטָן חַיָּב לְהוֹכִיחַ הַגָּדוֹל אִם יִרְאֶה הַגָּדוֹל הוֹלֵךְ בְּדֶרֶךְ לֹא טוֹב. וְיֶתֶר פְּרָטֵי מִצְוָה זוֹ, נִתְבָּאֵר בִּמְקוֹמוֹת מְפֻזָּרִים בַּתַּלְמוּד [הל' דעות פ"ו].
The commandment of rebuke to an Israelite who does not behave properly: To rebuke an Israelite who does not behave properly — whether about things that are between a man and his fellow or between a man and the Omnipresent - as it is stated (Leviticus 19:17), “you shall surely rebuke your compatriot, and you shall not bear a sin because of him.” And they said in Sifra, Kedoshim 4:8, “From where [do we know] that if you rebuked him four or five times and he did not return, that you are obligated to go back and rebuke [him again]? [Hence] we learn to say, ‘you shall surely rebuke.’” And they, may their memory be blessed, also said in the Gemara (Bava Metzia 31a), “‘You shall surely rebuke’ — even a hundred times.” And they said in the Sifra, “Perhaps, he should rebuke and his face change [color]? [Hence] we learn to say, ‘and you shall not bear a sin for him.’” And this teaches that at the beginning of the rebuke it is fitting for a person to rebuke privately, with soft expressions and calm words, so that he not be embarrassed. But there is no doubt that if he does not return with this, that we shame the sinner in public and publicize his sin and insult him, until he returns to the better. From the laws of the commandment is that which they, may their memory be blessed, said (Arakhin 16b) that the obligation of this commandment is until hitting — meaning to say that the one rebuking is obligated to multiply his rebukes upon the sinner until it is enough that the sinner is close to hitting the one rebuking. And nonetheless they, may their memory be blessed, also said (Arakhin 16b) that if the one rebuking sees that there is no benefit at all found from the words of his rebukes — from the greatness of the sinner’s evil, or that he is deaf [to it] and extremely evil and [the rebuker] is afraid of him that he not stand against him and kill him — that he is not obligated in this commandment with this man. And this is what they, may their memory be blessed, said (Yevamot 65b), “In the same way as it is a commandment to say something that will be heard, so [too,] is it a commandment to be quiet in a place where the thing will not be heard” — since there would be disgrace in the matter for the one who is rebuking and no benefit to the one who is rebuked. And nonetheless, it is for every careful person to consider and to pay great attention to these matters and to think and see if there will be a benefit to the sinner with his words, such that he should rebuke him and trust in God, may He be blessed — as He will help him in his fight with His enemies. And let his heart not be soft and let him not fear, since “the Lord protects all those that love Him and He obliterates all of the evildoers.” And if the sinner returns, he will have great reward for this. But the one who has in his hand [the possibility of] bringing him back and rebuking him, and does not rebuke him, is caught in his sin. And this is something clear from the words of our Rabbis (Shabbat 55a) and also from Scripture (Isaiah 3:14). And they, may their memory be blessed, also said (Yevamot 65b) that even a minor is obligated to rebuke an adult if he sees the adult going in a path that is not good. [These] and the rest of the details of the commandment are elucidated in scattered [places] in the Talmud. (See Mishneh Torah, Laws of Human Dispositions 6.)
משנה ברורה תר״ח
Mishnah Berurah 608
When people are unknowingly transgressing, one may refrain from rebuke if certain they will not accept it; however, once they know an act is forbidden yet deliberately transgress, one is obligated to rebuke them even if confident they will reject it—though the rebuker bears no responsibility for their sin. Regarding multiple people, rebuke is required only once (perhaps they will listen, or to remove their excuse), but regarding an individual, one must rebuke multiple times until they curse or hit; from that point forward, just as one is commanded to speak words that will be heard, so too one is commanded not to speak words that will not be heard.
(ה) אמרינן מוטב שיהיו שוגגין וכו' - ר"ל ג"כ בברור לו שאם יאמר להם לא יקבלו ממנו וכנ"ל וכ"ז דוקא בשעכשיו הם שוגגין אבל כשיודעין שהוא אסור ועוברין במזיד צריך להוכיחם אף כשברור לו שלא יקבלום ונהי דמי שאינו מוכיח אינו נענש עבור חטאם כיון שברור לו שלא יקבלום מ"מ מצוה להוכיחם: והנה לשון ואם יודע כתבו האחרונים שאינו מדוקדק דהא עד עכשיו ג"כ מיירי בהכי וכנ"ל אלא דבא לחדש דיש חילוק בין רבים ליחיד דברבים כשיודע שאין דבריו נשמעין להם מחויב להוכיח רק פ"א אבל ביחיד מחויב להוכיח כמה פעמים עד הכאה או קללה: (ט) רק פ"א - אולי ישמעו או כדי שלא יהיה להם פתחון פה ומכאן ואילך כשם שמצוה לומר דבר הנשמע כך מצוה שלא לומר דבר שאינו נשמע:
חפץ חיים, חלק ראשון: הלכות איסורי לשון הרע, כלל ד — ד"ה אֲבָל אִם
Chafetz Chaim, Part One, The Prohibition Against Lashon Hara, Principle 4:4
Although focused on speech-law, these laws explain that even constructive speech must meet conditions of purpose and benefit. They are useful for determining when rebuke is permitted or advisable and when silence avoids harm.
"הוֹכֵחַ תּוֹכִיחַ אֶת עֲמִיתֶךָ וְלֹא תִשָּׂא עָלָיו חֵטְא" (יח) וְכָל זֶה שֶׁכָּתַבְנוּ הוּא אֲפִלּוּ אִם הוּא רַק אָדָם בֵּינוֹנִי בִּשְׁאָר דְּבָרִים, וְכָל שֶׁכֵּן אִם הוּא אִישׁ תַּלְמִיד חָכָם וִירֵא חֵטְא, אַךְ עַתָּה גָּבַר יִצְּרוֹ עָלָיו, בְּוַדַּאי עָוֹן גָּדוֹל הוּא לְפַרְסֵם חֶטְאוֹ וְאָסוּר אֲפִלּוּ לְהַרְהֵר אַחֲרָיו כִּי בְּוַדַּאי עָשָׂה תְּשׁוּבָה וְאַף אִם יִצְרוֹ נִתְחַזֵּק עָלָיו פַּעַם אַחַת, נַפְשׁוֹ מָרָה לוֹ אַחַר כָּךְ עַל זֶה וּלְבָבוֹ יָרֵא וְחָרֵד מְאֹד עַל אַשְׁמָתוֹ, וּכְמוֹ שֶׁאָמְרוּ חֲזַ"ל: אֲבָל (כג) אִם הוּא רוֹאֶה שֶׁהַחוֹטֵא הוּא מֵהָאֱוִילִים הַלֵּצִּים הַשּׂוֹנְאִים לְמוֹכִיחָם, כְּדִכְתִיב {משלי ט' ח'}: "אַל תּוֹכַח לֵץ פֶּן יִשְׂנָאֶךָּ", וּבְוַדַּאי לֹא יִתְקַבְּלוּ דְּבָרָיו בְּאָזְנָיו, וַאֲנָשִׁים כָּאֵלּוּ בְּנָקֵל לָהֶם לִשְׁנוֹת בְּאִוַּלְתָּם, וְאִם כֵּן יוּכַל לִהְיוֹת שֶׁיָּבוֹא עוֹד הַפַּעַם לִידֵי חֵטְא, עַל כֵּן טוֹב לָהֶם, שֶׁיַּגִּידוּ לְדַיָּנִי הָעִיר, כְּדֵי שֶׁהֵם יְיַסְרוּהוּ עַל עֲוֹנוֹ וְיַפְרִישׁוּהוּ מֵהָאִסוּר עַל לְהַבָּא
But he must reprove him in private for having rebelled against his G–d by sinning, and [he must] tell him to take care to "fence himself off" from the factors that brought him to it, so that he not come to sin again. And his reprover must take care to speak to him gently, so as not to shame him, as it is written (Vayikra 19:17): "Reprove shall you reprove your neighbor, but do not bear sin because of him [in reproving him harshly]." And all of this that we have written applies even if he is only a mediocre person in other respects; how much more so if he is a Torah scholar and a fearer of sin But if they see that the sinner is one of the foolish scoffers who hate their reprovers, as it is written (Mishlei 9:8): "Do not reprove the scoffer, lest he hate you," and their words will certainly not be accepted, and men such as these readily return to their folly, so that he may very likely come to sin again — if so, it is better for them if they tell it to the judges of the city so that they chastise him for his sin and keep him from future transgression.
תניא, חלק ראשון; ליקוטי אמרים ל״ב — ד"ה וּמַה שֶּׁכָּתוּב בַּגְּמָרָא
Tanya, Part I; Likkutei Amarim 32:4
The Alter Rebbe teaches about loving one's fellow, warning that harsh rebuke can harm unity and that one must approach others with empathy. This chapter is often used to balance tochacha with ahavat Yisrael.
וּמַה שֶּׁכָּתוּב בַּגְּמָרָא, שֶׁמִּי שֶׁרוֹאֶה בַּחֲבֵירוֹ שֶׁחָטָא – מִצְוָה לִשְׂנֹאותוֹ, וְגַם לוֹמַר לְרַבּוֹ שֶׁיִּשְׂנָאֵהוּ. הַיְינוּ – בַּחֲבֵירוֹ בְּתוֹרָה וּמִצְוֹת, וּכְבָר קִיֵּים בּוֹ מִצְוַת ״הוֹכֵחַ תּוֹכִיחַ אֶת עֲמִיתֶךָ״ – עַם שֶׁאִתְּךָ בְּתוֹרָה וּבְמִצְוֹת, וְאַף־עַל־פִּי־כֵן לֹא שָׁב מֵחֶטְאוֹ, כְּמוֹ שֶׁכָּתוּב בְּסֵפֶר חֲרֵדִים. אֲבָל מִי שֶׁאֵינוֹ חֲבֵירוֹ וְאֵינוֹ מְקוֹרָב אֶצְלוֹ, הִנֵּה עַל זֶה אָמַר הִלֵּל הַזָּקֵן: ״הֱוֵי מִתַּלְמִידָיו שֶׁל אַהֲרֹן, אוֹהֵב שָׁלוֹם וְכוּ׳, אוֹהֵב אֶת הַבְּרִיּוֹת וּמְקָרְבָן לַתּוֹרָה״. לוֹמַר, שֶׁאַף הָרְחוֹקִים מִתּוֹרַת ה׳ וַעֲבוֹדָתוֹ, וְלָכֵן נִקְרָאִים בְּשֵׁם ״בְּרִיּוֹת״ בְּעָלְמָא – צָרִיךְ לְמָשְׁכָן בְּחַבְלֵי עֲבוֹתוֹת אַהֲבָה, וְכוּלֵּי הַאי וְאוּלַי יוּכַל לְקָרְבָן לְתוֹרָה וַעֲבוֹדַת ה׳; וְהֵן לָא – לֹא הִפְסִיד שְׂכַר מִצְוַת אַהֲבַת רֵיעִים.
As for the Talmudic statement to the effect that one who sees his friend sinning should hate him and should tell his teacher to hate him also, this applies to a companion in Torah and precepts, having already applied to him the injunction, “You shall repeatedly rebuke your friend (amitecha),” meaning “He who is with you in Torah and precepts,” and who, nevertheless, has not repented of his sin, as stated in Sefer Charedim. But as for the person who is not one’s colleague and is not on intimate terms with him, Hillel the Elder said, “Be of the disciples of Aaron, loving peace and pursuing peace, loving the creatures and drawing them near to the Torah.” This means that even in the case of those who are removed from G–d’s Torah and His service and are therefore classified simply as “creatures,” one must attract them with strong cords of love, perchance one might succeed in drawing them near to the Torah and Divine service. Even if one fails, one has not forfeited the merit of the precept of neighborly love.
Orchot Tzadikim 21:5
King Solomon stated that there is "a time to be silent and a time to speak," indicating that sometimes speech is beneficial and sometimes silence is beneficial.
שְׁלֹמֹה הַמֶּלֶךְ עָלָיו הַשָּׁלוֹם אָמַר (קהלת ג ז): ״עֵת לַחֲשׁוֹת וְעֵת לְדַבֵּר״ – פְּעָמִים שֶׁהַדִּבּוּר טוֹב, וּפְעָמִים שֶׁהַשְּׁתִיקָה טוֹבָה.
Orchot Tzadikim 21:8
Sometimes silence is harmful, and if one sees fools mocking the words of the wise, one should respond to correct their error so they do not appear wise in their own eyes; and if one sees someone transgressing, one should rebuke them.
וְלִפְעָמִים שֶׁהַשְּׁתִיקָה רָעָה, כְּדִכְתִיב (משלי כו ה): אִם רוֹאֶה שֶׁהַכְּסִילִים מְלַגְלְגִים עַל דִּבְרֵי חֲכָמִים – יַעֲנֵם לַהֲשִׁיבָם מִטָּעוּתָם, שֶׁלֹּא יִהְיוּ חֲכָמִים בְּעֵינֵיהֶם. אִם רוֹאֶה אָדָם עוֹבֵר עֲבֵרָה – יִמְחֶה בְּיָדוֹ וְיוֹכִיחֵהוּ.