The Curse of Woman in Talmudic Interpretation

אֶֽל־הָאִשָּׁ֣ה אָמַ֗ר הַרְבָּ֤ה אַרְבֶּה֙ עִצְּבוֹנֵ֣ךְ וְהֵֽרֹנֵ֔ךְ בְּעֶ֖צֶב תֵּֽלְדִ֣י בָנִ֑ים וְאֶל־אִישֵׁךְ֙ תְּשׁ֣וּקָתֵ֔ךְ וְה֖וּא יִמְשׇׁל־בָּֽךְ׃ {ס}

And to the woman [God] said, “I will greatly expand Your toil—and your pregnancies; In hardship shall you bear children. Yet your urge shall be for your husband, And his will shall prevail over yours.”

אֵינָהּ מַסְפֶּקֶת לִשְׁתּוֹת עַד שֶׁפָּנֶיהָ מוֹרִיקוֹת וְעֵינֶיהָ בּוֹלְטוֹת וְהִיא מִתְמַלֵּאת גִּידִין, וְהֵם אוֹמְרִים הוֹצִיאוּהָ הוֹצִיאוּהָ, שֶׁלֹּא תְטַמֵּא הָעֲזָרָה. אִם יֶשׁ לָהּ זְכוּת, הָיְתָה תוֹלָה לָהּ. יֵשׁ זְכוּת תּוֹלָה שָׁנָה אַחַת, יֵשׁ זְכוּת תּוֹלָה שְׁתֵּי שָׁנִים, יֵשׁ זְכוּת תּוֹלָה שָׁלשׁ שָׁנִים.

When a guilty woman drinks she does not manage to finish drinking before her face turns green and her eyes bulge, and her skin becomes full of protruding veins, and the people standing in the Temple say: Remove her, so that she does not render the Temple courtyard impure by dying there. The mishna limits the scope of the previous statement: If she has merit, it delays punishment for her and she does not die immediately. There is a merit that delays punishment for one year, there is a larger merit that delays punishment for two years, and there is a merit that delays punishment for three years.

״אֶל הָאִשָּׁה אָמַר הַרְבָּה אַרְבֶּה״, אֵלּוּ שְׁנֵי טִפֵּי דָמִים — אַחַת דַּם נִדָּה, וְאַחַת דַּם בְּתוּלִים. ״עִצְּבוֹנֵךְ״, זֶה צַעַר גִּידּוּל בָּנִים. ״וְהֵרוֹנֵךְ״, זֶה צַעַר הָעִיבּוּר. ״בְּעֶצֶב תֵּלְדִי בָּנִים״, כְּמַשְׁמָעוֹ.

אִינִי?! וְהָאָמַר רַב יִצְחָק בַּר אַבְדִּימִי: עֶשֶׂר קְלָלוֹת נִתְקַלְּלָה חַוָּה, דִּכְתִיב: ״אֶל הָאִשָּׁה אָמַר הַרְבָּה אַרְבֶּה״, אֵלּוּ שְׁנֵי טִפֵּי דָמִים — אַחַת דַּם נִדָּה, וְאַחַת דַּם בְּתוּלִים. ״עִצְּבוֹנֵךְ״, זֶה צַעַר גִּידּוּל בָּנִים. ״וְהֵרוֹנֵךְ״, זֶה צַעַר הָעִיבּוּר. ״בְּעֶצֶב תֵּלְדִי בָּנִים״, כְּמַשְׁמָעוֹ. ״וְאֶל אִישֵׁךְ תְּשׁוּקָתֵךְ״, מְלַמֵּד שֶׁהָאִשָּׁה מִשְׁתּוֹקֶקֶת עַל בַּעְלָהּ בְּשָׁעָה שֶׁיּוֹצֵא לַדֶּרֶךְ. ״וְהוּא יִמְשׇׁל בָּךְ״, מְלַמֵּד שֶׁהָאִשָּׁה תּוֹבַעַת בַּלֵּב וְהָאִישׁ תּוֹבֵעַ בַּפֶּה. זוֹ הִיא מִדָּה טוֹבָה בַּנָּשִׁים.

The Gemara poses a question: Is that so? Is it proper for a woman to demand her conjugal rights from her husband? But didn’t Rav Yitzḥak bar Avdimi say: Eve was cursed with ten curses, due to the sin of the Tree of Knowledge, as it is written: “To the woman He said, I will greatly multiply your pain and your travail; in sorrow you shall bring forth children; and yet your desire shall be to your husband, and he shall rule over you” (Genesis 3:16)? Rav Yitzḥak bar Avdimi proceeds to explain this verse. “To the woman He said: I will greatly multiply [harba arbe]”; these are the two drops of blood unique to a woman, which cause her suffering, one the blood of menstruation and the other one the blood of virginity. “Your pain”; this is the pain of raising children. “And your travail”; this is the pain of pregnancy. “In sorrow you shall bring forth children”; in accordance with its plain meaning, i.e., the pain of childbirth. “And yet your desire shall be to your husband” teaches that the woman desires her husband, e.g., when he sets out on the road; “and he shall rule over you” teaches that the woman demands her husband in her heart but is too shy to voice her desire, but the man demands his wife verbally. Rav Yitzḥak bar Avdimi adds: This is a good trait in women, that they refrain from formulating their desire verbally. Apparently, it is improper for a woman to demand her conjugal rights from her husband.

הַדִּיפְתְּרָא, אֶלָּא עַל הַמְּגִילָּה, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר: ״בַּסֵּפֶר״. וְאֵינוֹ כּוֹתֵב לֹא בְּקוֹמוֹס וְלֹא בְּקַנְקַנְתּוֹם, וְלֹא בְּכׇל דָּבָר שֶׁרוֹשֵׁם, אֶלָּא בִּדְיוֹ, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר: ״וּמָחָה״, כְּתָב שֶׁיָּכוֹל לִמָּחוֹת.

diftera, a hide that is only partially processed, as it is salted and treated with flour but not gallnuts; rather, it must be written only on a scroll of parchment, as it is stated: “And the priest shall write these curses in a scroll” (Numbers 5:23). And the scribe may not write with gum [komos], and not with iron sulfate [kankantom], nor with any substance that makes a mark and cannot be completely erased, but only with ink made from soot, as it is stated in the continuation of the same verse: “And he shall blot them out into the water of bitterness” (Numbers 5:23). This indicates that the scroll must be written with a writing that can be erased in water.

וְאֵינוֹ כּוֹתֵב ״וְהִשְׁבִּיעַ הַכֹּהֵן אֶת הָאִשָּׁה״. וְכוֹתֵב: ״יִתֵּן ה׳ אוֹתָךְ לְאָלָה וְלִשְׁבֻעָה. וּבָאוּ הַמַּיִם הַמְאָרְרִים הָאֵלֶּה בְּמֵעַיִךְ לַצְבּוֹת בֶּטֶן וְלַנְפִּל יָרֵךְ״. וְאֵינוֹ כּוֹתֵב ״וְאָמְרָה הָאִשָּׁה אָמֵן אָמֵן״. דָּרֵישׁ רַבִּי עֲקִיבָא: אִישׁ וְאִשָּׁה זָכוּ — שְׁכִינָה בֵּינֵיהֶן. לֹא זָכוּ — אֵשׁ אוֹכַלְתָּן.

And then he does not write the beginning of the following verse, which states: “Then the priest shall cause the woman to swear with the oath of cursing, and the priest shall say to the woman” (Numbers 5:21), but he does write the oath recorded in the continuation of the verse: “The Lord shall make you a curse and an oath among your people when the Lord will cause your thigh to fall away, and your belly to swell. And this water that causes the curse shall go into your bowels, and cause your belly to swell, and your thigh to fall away” (Numbers 5:21–22); but he does not write the conclusion of the verse: “And the woman shall say: Amen, amen” (Numbers 5:22). § Rabbi Akiva taught: If a man [ish] and woman [isha] merit reward through a faithful marriage, the Divine Presence rests between them. The words ish and isha are almost identical; the difference between them is the middle letter yod in ish, and the final letter heh in isha. These two letters can be joined to form the name of God spelled yod, heh. But if due to licentiousness they do not merit reward, the Divine Presence departs, leaving in each word only the letters alef and shin, which spell esh, fire. Therefore, fire consumes them.

וְהַנָּכוֹן בְּעֵינַי שֶׁהֶעֱנִישׁ אוֹתָהּ שֶׁתִּהְיֶה נִכְסֶפֶת מְאֹד אֶל בַּעְלָהּ, וְלֹא תָּחוּשׁ לְצַעַר הַהֵרָיוֹן וְהַלֵּדָה, וְהוּא יַחֲזִיק בָּהּ כְּשִׁפְחָה, וְאֵין הַמִּנְהָג לִהְיוֹת הָעֶבֶד מִשְׁתּוֹקֵק לִקְנוֹת אָדוֹן לְעַצְמוֹ, אֲבָל יִבְרַח מִמֶּנּוּ בִּרְצוֹנוֹ.

זֶה צַעַר גִּדּוּל בָּנִים (עירובין ק'): זֶה צַעַר הָעִבּוּר: זֶה צַעַר הַלֵּדָה: לְתַשְׁמִישׁ, וְאַעַפִּ"כֵּ אֵין לָךְ מֵצַח לְתָבְעוֹ בַּפֶּה, אֶלָּא הוּא יִמְשָׁל בָּךְ, הַכֹּל מִמֶּנּוּ וְלֹא מִמֵּךְ: